Wife Shares Struggles of Living with Husband’s Gambling Addiction

Nicola Keating opened up about the profound impact of her husband’s gambling addiction during the launch of the Gambling Awareness Trust’s annual report in Dublin. She described the emotional turmoil and financial strain that accompanied his addiction, particularly around family events, like Christmas, when he often gambled to avoid detection.

“When my husband was gambling, he’d gamble around family events,” Keating shared. “He always did it coming up to Christmas because he knew he’d get away with it.” The fear of judgment from family members kept her silent about his behavior, leading her to feel isolated and unsupported.

The Hidden Costs of Gambling Addiction

Keating recounted how she would sleep with money under her pillow, burdened by debts amounting to thousands of euros while her husband sought treatment. “I am outside with no support and thinking, ‘where am I going to get this money?’” she reflected. “Sometimes that’s where families are lost. It’s very isolating for family members walking out of residential centres where their loved one is receiving treatment.”

The event highlighted a staggering statistic: for every one person struggling with gambling addiction, approximately six to ten others, including family and friends, bear the emotional and financial fallout.

Keating noted that her husband’s addiction was primarily linked to casinos and poker machines, which obscured the warning signs that might have emerged from more traditional betting methods. “I remember thinking, ‘was he having an affair?’ I couldn’t put my finger on it at first,” she admitted. It wasn’t until a friend urged her to seek help that she realized she needed support as well.

Continuing Impact and the Importance of Support

Although her husband has been in recovery for several years, Keating revealed that the repercussions of his gambling still affect her daily life. “A decade ago, if he was ten minutes late, my stomach would be doing somersaults. I’d be watching finances, controlling the finances,” she explained. This control became a necessity, as she often had to manage their finances strictly, even to the point where he would need to ask her for money for small purchases.

Keating urged other families in similar situations to seek out support, emphasizing that help is available and can significantly change lives for the better. “This has to stop,” she said, reflecting on her determination to break the cycle of anxiety his addiction had caused.

Also speaking at the event, Grainne O’Kane, the founder of the Wellbeing Consultancy, drew a vivid analogy between gambling addiction and the invasive Japanese knotweed. “It’s like a shallow shoot that you don’t even really see,” she explained. Families often sense that something is “not quite right” but struggle to identify the root of their distress. O’Kane emphasized that gambling addiction can deeply fracture family foundations, similar to how knotweed can silently spread underground until it erupts.

Keating’s story serves as a powerful reminder of the hidden struggles faced by those connected to problem gamblers and the importance of seeking help in confronting these challenges.