Mother Grapples with Decision to Share Health Diagnosis with Daughter

A mother is facing a challenging decision about whether to share her recent medical diagnosis with her 11-year-old daughter. In a heartfelt letter to Moncrieff, she revealed that she has been diagnosed with a condition that poses a risk of stroke, having already experienced two mini strokes in the past year. Despite maintaining a healthy lifestyle, she is currently under investigation by doctors and does not yet have a treatment plan.

The mother expressed her concerns about discussing her condition with her daughter, describing her child as “beautiful, intelligent, and kind.” She noted that her husband works long hours on their farm, meaning that she often spends significant time alone with her daughter. The uncertainty surrounding her medical situation has heightened her anxiety, particularly the fear of having a stroke while with her child.

Before receiving her diagnosis, the mother had briefly explained her health concerns to her daughter, but the child had not wanted to delve into details at that time. Now, grappling with her own emotions, the mother is unsure how to approach the conversation. “I’m struggling to deal with it myself, let alone try to talk to her about it,” she admitted.

Professional Guidance on Navigating the Conversation

Family psychotherapist Joanna Fortune provided insight into the matter, advocating for the mother to prioritize her own emotional well-being before broaching the subject with her daughter. “The starting point here is you deserve space to talk and think and feel and cry and wonder and fear and all of that out loud,” Fortune advised. She emphasized the importance of seeking professional support, whether through a psychologist or a psychotherapist, to help process the overwhelming emotions associated with such a diagnosis.

Fortune stressed that the mother should refrain from discussing her condition with her daughter until she has had time to digest the news. “If you were to say, ‘Oh, I could have a stroke at any time,’ and she asks, ‘But why? What’s the plan?’ you don’t have that answer yet,” she pointed out. By allowing herself a couple of weeks to come to terms with her diagnosis, the mother can better prepare for a conversation that may require thoughtful consideration and clear information.

Preparing for Future Conversations

Once the mother has established a more comprehensive understanding of her health situation, Fortune suggested creating a clear plan for communication. This may include writing down important phone numbers and instructions for her daughter to follow in the event of a stroke. By pinning this information to the fridge, the mother can ensure it is easily accessible when needed.

Fortune’s approach highlights the delicate balance between protecting a child from unnecessary worry while also preparing them for potential emergencies. In addressing her own fears and uncertainties, the mother can empower her daughter with the knowledge and tools to respond effectively if a crisis arises.

Navigating the complexities of family health issues requires sensitivity and care. By focusing on self-support first, the mother can foster an environment of reassurance and preparedness for her family, ultimately aiding in their collective journey through an uncertain time.