Urgent Advice for Parents as Kids Face Dropout Risks in Activities

UPDATE: New insights reveal a troubling trend: many children are quitting new activities just weeks after starting. As parents gear up for the upcoming school season, experts warn that disillusionment can set in quickly, leaving kids feeling overwhelmed and ready to give up.

Linda Breathnach, a psychotherapist and member of the Irish Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy, emphasizes that the initial stage of trying new things is critical. “This is when they haven’t done it before and don’t know anybody,” she explains. Children may experience a fear of failure, leading to a desire to quit before they even begin to learn.

Dr. Ray O’Neill, an assistant professor in psychotherapy at Dublin City University, stresses the importance of honesty during the learning process. “Not knowing is a great place for parents and children to meet,” he states, urging parents to acknowledge that challenges are integral to mastering new skills. He points out that the reality of learning often contrasts sharply with children’s fantasies, which can lead to frustration and early abandonment of activities.

The stakes are high: according to Sport Ireland, a staggering 45% of girls drop out of sports by age 14—twice the rate of boys. Factors contributing to this dropout rate include academic pressures, body image issues, and social anxiety. “We must communicate that learning involves mistakes and practice,” says Breathnach.

To combat these challenges, experts recommend several strategies for parents. First, encourage children to commit to one activity without the expectation of an immediate second option. This cultivates resilience and grit, essential traits for long-term success.

Breathnach also highlights the importance of consistent parental support. Establishing a routine can provide stability, making it easier for children to engage in their chosen activities. “If you skip practices, you send mixed messages about commitment,” she warns.

Further, fostering a positive mindset around mistakes is crucial. Parents should celebrate small victories and encourage children to face discomfort as part of the learning journey. “Normalising anxious feelings is key,” says Breathnach. “Let them know it’s okay to feel uncomfortable, but that shouldn’t be a reason to give up.”

However, it’s also crucial for parents to recognize when to allow their child to quit. O’Neill explains that if an activity causes significant pain or humiliation, it may be time to reassess. Parents should guide their children to view changing direction not as failure, but as an opportunity to carry forward what they have learned.

As parents prepare for a new wave of activities this season, these insights provide valuable guidance on helping children navigate the challenges of learning new skills. The goal is clear: foster resilience, commitment, and a positive learning environment to ensure children thrive in their pursuits.

With the new school year fast approaching, now is the time for parents to engage with these strategies and support their children through the ups and downs of learning.