Mother Faces Dilemma: Should She Inform Daughter of Health Risk?

A mother recently sought advice on whether to inform her eleven-year-old daughter about a serious medical condition she has been diagnosed with. The woman, who spoke to Moncrieff, revealed that she has experienced two “mini” strokes in the past year and faces the risk of a more severe stroke at any moment. Despite maintaining a healthy lifestyle, the mother is grappling with how to approach the conversation with her daughter.

She expressed her concerns, noting that her husband works long hours on the farm, leaving her and her daughter to spend a significant amount of time together. The mother indicated that she was unsure if she should disclose her condition, particularly given her daughter’s age and previous reluctance to engage with the topic.

Joanna Fortune, a family psychotherapist, provided guidance to the mother, emphasizing the importance of processing her own emotions before discussing the situation with her child. “You deserve space to talk and think and feel and cry and wonder and fear,” Fortune stated. She recommended that the mother seek professional support to help her navigate her feelings about the diagnosis.

Fortune advised against discussing the potential for a stroke with the daughter at this time. The therapist noted that without a clear treatment plan or understanding of the condition, it might raise more questions than it answers. “If you were to say, ‘Oh, I could have a stroke at any time,’ and she asks, ‘But why? What’s the plan?’ You don’t have that answer yet,” Fortune explained.

The therapist suggested that the mother take a few weeks to digest the news and establish a more comprehensive plan for her health. Once she feels more stable, she can create a clear set of instructions for her daughter, which could include emergency contacts and procedures in case of a crisis.

As part of this plan, Fortune recommended writing down essential information and placing it on the refrigerator for easy access. This method would ensure that the daughter knows what to do if her mother experiences another stroke.

The situation highlights the complexities of parenting when faced with health challenges. It underscores the need for open communication, not only with children but also with oneself, to effectively manage the emotional landscape surrounding serious medical conditions. As families navigate these difficult conversations, prioritizing mental well-being remains vital for both parents and children.